Six things you should tell yourself if you had a messed-up teenage relationship

Most of us look back at our teenage years with nostalgia. And why wouldn’t we? We were young, beautiful, and real-life problems weren’t a thing. All we would care about was hanging out with friends and having fun. Nevertheless, the term fun didn’t mean the same to everyone. For some, it was playing D&D in their garage, while for the others, it meant getting laid. And, of course, to reach the fourth base or the home run, you usually have to be in a relationship.


Teenage relationships are some of the best you can have. They are fun, turbulent, and full of fiery emotions. However, such passion often leads to unfortunate consequences, such as breakups. But unlike nowadays, when you can take it on the chin as a mature person, back then, it was like the world was falling apart. Events like these would prove traumatic for many teens, leading them to keep hold of bad emotions long into the future.


So, what to do if failed relationships keep coming bad to you? Should you hold a grudge against your teenage self or your past lover? Nope! It’s key not to act pathetic but to move on and allow yourself to have a healthy relationship in the present. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves here. Allow us to present you with some words of encouragement for your failed relationship in the following few paragraphs.

Forgive Yourself for Not Knowing Better

The first and probably most important thing to do is to forgive yourself. Guilt comes from the inside, from us thinking badly of ourselves and our past decisions. However, when you are a teenager, you’re new to life. You don’t know how it works and what the consequences of your bad actions will be. And since teenage relationships are so fiery, both partners tend to do stupid things. But that’s fine. You were young — you didn’t know better.

Of course, some people who have issues with their past don’t only blame themselves. They seem to find culprits in their partners or ill-advising friends and family members. Nevertheless, you should forgive them as well. Just like you, they didn’t know any better and would probably make different decisions today. But that’s water under the bridge. Breaking up for no reason, infidelity, or anything else should stay in the past as life moves on to new and better things.

Acknowledge Your Mistakes and Learn From Them

Forgiving yourself and others for their strengths and weaknesses is necessary to move on and achieve your goals in the future. Yet, that doesn’t mean that you should disregard them completely. In fact, it’s best to acknowledge and learn from them for personal empowerment. By doing this, you will benefit by acquiring skills that will help you avoid toxic relationships in your current life. After all, what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.


Life is a series of experiences. Some of them are great, while others, well, let’s just say we’d rather not live through them again. As such, it’s key to remember the mistakes so that you don’t repeat them. The same goes for personal affairs and romantic relationships. In your life, you’ll come across different people with similar features. And once you’ve had experience with them, you’ll understand whether they suit you and the life you wish to live.

Do Things That Make You Mentally and Emotionally Healthy

The unfortunate reality of failed relationships is that they bring about trauma. From witnessing someone cheating on you or them walking into the room with a certain expression on their face before telling you they want to end your relationship, certain scenes are hard to forget. They become scars, embedded deep in your soul. Still, you must find a substitute that will provide you with positivity, both mentally and emotionally.


But what are these substitutes? Well, it doesn’t matter. They can be anything you want them. From hobbies to physical recreation, the only important thing is that you don’t dwell on the past and use your time for self-empowerment. Because even if we can’t control our fate and traumas that happen in life, we can decide whether we stick by them. It’s like telling yourself to stop smoking — you can’t quit if you don’t start.

It’s Not Always Your Fault

As we’ve mentioned already, not everything that happens in life is down to us. Both good and bad events are the results of numerous factors, including other people. Therefore, when it comes to traumatic experiences from your teen life like failed relationships, it’s essential not to only blame yourself. Because, in essence, it takes two to break up, just like it takes two to start a relationship. It’s that simple.


Knowing this is a major step toward self-empowerment and positivity in the long run. It can also help prevent others from breaking your heart continually. But how, you might add. Well, understanding that life is more complex than two people falling in love will give you an edge to confront the feeling of sadness when someone leaves your life. Each day is a combination of many factors. And with each, new events come about, including breakups too.

Good People Are Everywhere

Experiencing a bad relationship shouldn’t mean the end of your love life. In fact, it should spur you forward in pursuit of something new and better. And although it might seem like there are no people who’ll suit you and your sensibilities, that’s not the case. Not to sound cheesy or anything, but there’s always plenty more fish in the sea. You just need to get back on your feet and start over again each time you come out of a wrong relationship.


However, to get back on your dating horse, it’s essential to step out of your comfort zone. We all have them, and that’s okay. Everyone needs a place to be alone with their thoughts and to feel safe. Yet, comfort zones shouldn’t restrict us from experiencing something new. The same goes for dating. We must break the chains of comfort sometimes and risk meeting new people and rejuvenate our love lives to eventually succeed.

Intimate Relationships Aren’t Always Needed

Being in relationships with toxic people takes a toll on everyone, there’s no doubt about it. The damage might be so big that even imagining yourself romantically involved with a new partner can seem almost impossible. We understand that. However, starting from scratch can be nice and easy. You can set your goals, listing things you aren’t prepared to do again. This list can include any form of intimacy, even sexual contact.


Just like you, there are others with broken hearts and emotional scars. They, therefore, have similar goals and will better understand that you aren’t ready for anything more than a cup of tea at the local café. These safe dates might prove more beneficial than seeking one-night stands at clubs or Tinder hookups. Of course, they can develop into much more if you feel like it, but that will be up to you and how you feel about yourself.

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