Let me preface with the fact that my wedding on the summer solstice was basically my dream wedding (another post will share the details). However, I think that most brides can look back on their wedding and compile a list of things they could have done differently - or at least conjure up some ideas and tips for future brides. Here are a few things I’ve learned from my own wedding.
A beautiful dress doesn’t have to take half your budget
Often as a future bride, we look at photos of incredible dresses online or in magazines only to find out they’re top designers who will charge you an arm or a leg for them. Think beyond the designers. Your dream dress doesn’t have to cost a whole lot. I had three months to plan my wedding, so I didn’t have a lot of time to search for a dress and even if I had found that perfect Vera Wang dress for me, there’s no way I could have gotten it in time for my wedding. I went into David’s Bridal and just 300 dollars later I came out with a dress I loved. Later, during the wedding, I was continually being told how stunning my dress was and being asked where I got it, as if it were some unique dress and I was the only bride to have it. If you do end up finding your dream dress is out of your budget, try searching online through websites that re-sell brides dresses, preownedweddingdresses.com is a great one.
Hire a Bartender
This one’s for the brides who are planning an outside or DIY type of wedding. Hiring a bartender is something to really consider. We were only doing beer, wine, and one specialty cocktail at our wedding, so we figured we could save a good chunk of money if we had a bar that was self-serve. We did save a lot of money, but hiring a bartender is absolutely one thing we would have done if we had known what the outcome would be without one. Things got messy quickly. Even though we had a big basket for empty bottles, they were instead being piled up on the bar, cocktail tables, and the ground. Restocking ice was also extremely difficult and restocking beer was also a bit of a problem. Most wedding planners won’t be able to do these things for you since they won’t have licensure for alcohol. Therefore, you’re kind of left doing all those things yourself (or in our case, my mother). You want your guests and close family members to enjoy cocktail hour and to have the chance to mingle, no one should be having to do any restocking or cleaning up. Hire a bartender.
Hire a Videographer
Every bride has a budget, and there are definitely things that will need to be cut from your dream wedding (in most cases). There are some things that you’ll end up splurging on too - good food, flower displays and centerpieces, the dress, and a good photographer to name a few. When I was planning my wedding, a videographer was something I thought would be nice, but it wasn’t on my priority list. My husband’s family is from Belgium, and many of them were unfortunately unable to make it to the wedding. We finally decided to try to come up with the money to afford to have a videographer on site. This was ultimately one of the better decisions we made during the process. A video is a keepsake you’ll be able to have forever and with the click of a button you will be able to have your wedding memories rush in and take you back to that special day. Besides, the wedding goes by so fast, it may be hard to pull up those memories without some assistance.
Communicate with your Photographer
Let me start with saying our photographer was incredible. This goes to say that it’s obviously important to spend time finding a photographer that fits with how you want your wedding to be captured. Your photographer is ultimately one of the people who will be producing your memories for you, so you’ll want to have a photographer that fits your style. But aside from this, it is also important to talk with your photographer. My photographer sent me a packet of questions to answer, one which was aimed at what kind of shots I would like and what things I wanted to be photographed. When I saw this, I didn’t know what to say, my thoughts were: us as a couple, our wedding, candids, the venue. I didn’t dig much deeper than that, I figured that I loved all the photos on my photographers site and blog, that I didn’t need to tell them what I wanted specifically to be shot and they would handle the details. This is partly true; your photographer has tons of experience so they’ll know to take photos of your dress, the cake, the tables, etc. But sometimes you need to be specific. If you want some of those creative and unique photos of the rings with the groom’s boutonniere or the bride holding the cake, you’ll need to tell your photographer those things. Take some time to think about those types of photos you want and communicate them with your photographer, you’ll be happy you did.
Trust your DJ
If you have hired a professional and reputable DJ, they have most likely done dozens or even hundreds of weddings. With that said, they know what they’re doing and they have much more knowledge about wedding tunes than you do. As most brides do, I received a grand list of songs from our DJ. I was able to note which songs I had to have play, which songs I wanted played, and which ones should not be played. This was great, right? I could really customize our playlist to what our tastes were and allow the music to really blend with our wedding themes. Though this was great, there is such a thing as too much personalization. I picked so many songs that I wanted played that it didn’t leave a ton of room for the DJ to really do what they were best at - feeling out the crowd, knowing what songs will make your group fill the dance floor. Overall, our DJ did a fantastic job, I loved the songs that were being played and I think our guests really enjoyed themselves. However, when thinking about songs and coming across songs that are meaningful to you, ask yourself if they’re songs that the rest of your guests will want to get up and move to as well.
Be creative with food
There are certain things about a wedding that really stick in the heads of guests. One of these things is food. If the food is great, your guests will be raving about it all night. You want that. So aside from hiring a wonderful caterer, it’s also up to you to pick out a menu that will really get your guests wild about. If you have a culture or tradition within your family, it’s fun to include something like that. For instance, my husband is Belgian so we added a traditional Belgian stew made with dark beer to our menu. It was a fun way to add something different and also had some meaning to us. It’s also great if you can think out of the box and have a few items that people aren’t used to eating. We had samosas that were South African and made with a mango chutney dip. Another way to make the food memorable and fun is to add a little spin to an item - another item we included were deviled eggs topped with caviar. Take some time to think about dishes and items that will add a unique pop to your wedding.
Pinch yourself and take it all in
Words aren’t really enough to explain this one, but once your wedding day comes around, you’ll know exactly what I’m talking about. During cocktail hour of my wedding, I remember having a quick conversation with a friend of my father. He told me to pinch myself every now and then throughout the day in order to bring myself back to where I was and what was surrounding me. I cannot emphasize this enough: your wedding is a bit of an out of body experience. It goes by incredibly fast and I have never felt so stimulated. It’s a feeling that’s quite indescribable, but overwhelming in the most wonderful sense. So take it in when you can, make sure you take a few moments for just you and your partner. I found that the moments where it was just my husband and me with our photographer allowed us to do this.
Look back and smile
After our wedding, I contemplated the things we could do differently, which ultimately resulted in this post. My mother gave me some great feedback and said: No matter what you do in life, there will always be other ways you could have done things, but that doesn’t mean you didn’t do it the right way. It is after all, a day to celebrate the love you and your partner share. Close friends and family won’t notice the things that aren’t perfect. That’s another thing to remember during the planning process as well. Your guests are there to celebrate with you in making your day special. So when it’s over and done with, cherish the memories and look ahead to the many more days that will celebrate the love you share with your partner.
